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Dec 5, 2025

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Understanding Duck's Relationship Breakdown Model

Amy Breen

@amybreen_ikkr

Ever wondered why relationships don't just suddenly end but seem... Show more

Threshold: 'I mean it'
Gossip from
friends is
traded
They weigh up the pros and cons and evaluate
them against the alternatives whilst makin

Duck's Phase Model of Relationship Breakdown

Relationship breakdown isn't a sudden event - it's a process that unfolds over time through predictable stages. Duck identified four key phases that couples typically experience, each triggered when someone reaches a psychological threshold where their perception of the relationship fundamentally shifts.

The journey begins with the intrapsychic phase, where one partner privately wrestles with dissatisfaction (threshold: "I can't stand this anymore"). They might confide in friends but haven't confronted their partner yet. This moves into the dyadic phase when partners finally discuss their problems face-to-face (threshold: "I would be justified in withdrawing").

The social phase marks the point of no return when friends and family become involved, creating social pressure that often seals the relationship's fate (threshold: "I mean it"). Finally, the grave dressing phase focuses on creating acceptable stories about why the relationship ended, allowing both partners to maintain their reputations (threshold: "Time to get a new life").

Key Insight: Each phase offers different opportunities for relationship repair - recognising which stage you're in can help determine the most effective intervention strategies.

The model has real-world applications in relationship counselling. Therapists can tailor their approach based on which phase clients are experiencing - encouraging focus on partner positives during the intrapsychic phase, or improving communication skills during the dyadic phase.

However, the model faces several limitations. It's based on retrospective research from individualistic cultures, making it less applicable to collectivist societies where family involvement and relationship permanence differ significantly. The linear progression also oversimplifies reality - relationships often move back and forth between phases rather than following a straight path to breakdown.

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Dec 5, 2025

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1 page

Understanding Duck's Relationship Breakdown Model

Amy Breen

@amybreen_ikkr

Ever wondered why relationships don't just suddenly end but seem to follow a pattern? Duck's Phase Model breaks down relationship breakdown into four distinct stages, showing how couples move from private doubts to public breakups. Understanding these phases can actually... Show more

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Duck's Phase Model of Relationship Breakdown

Key Insight: Each phase offers different opportunities for relationship repair - recognising which stage you're in can help determine the most effective intervention strategies.